Heather - Day Three

Last night was a late night, so when my alarm went off at 5:30am for Mysore, I felt sick - literally. I knew I needed to stay in bed. So I got up around eight and got a ton of stuff done this morning online. I came into the yoga studio early just so I could do a yoga practice. I did a shortened Ashtanga practice - about an hour.

Let me just speak honestly here. After not having a daily Mysore practice for several months, it is HARD!!! Especially when I am a little tired, a little hungry and have a memory of how my Mysore practice USED to be! My shoulders were burning in the first few down dogs, my hamstrings and hips are relatively tight (relative to what I am used to). And my mind is not as focused. I heard many inner voices saying, "Ugh," "I don't wanna...," "This sucks," "You suck," "I hate this," and the sneakier, "Just do four suns instead of five this time," "Skip this pose this time, you'll do it next time," But I did not react to my thoughts. I listened and responded. I reminded myself that the later regret I would have would not be worth the temporary physical relief I would have not doing that fifth sun salutation. And I tried to listen, to really hear what those voices had to say. Instead of just ignoring them or pushing them deeper down inside me, I tried to reside alongside with them. If yoga and meditation has taught me anything in the last couple of years - it is definitely that I have no control over the thoughts and feelings coming in and out of my head and that if I push them away or hide from them they are more likely to come up in a bigger, louder way, and at a less convenient time than if I just say OK and allow them to say what they have to say.

And now, I am cooling off from my sweaty good time. I am working the front desk at my yoga studio and I feel more at peace knowing that I didn't win or lose a battle today, but I averted it altogether simply by acting on the knowledge that my thoughts don't have to define my actions.

Wishing you happIness and metta from a little dot in the universe called Boston,
Heather