Sunday, August 23, 2009

Heather - Day Six

Ashtang- aaaaaahhhh. =) This is the first time in awhile, where I felt like I had the energy to do the practice before I started. Even though I worked a full eight and half hours today before practicing, I felt revved up. I believe in part due to the consequences of practicing everyday, the energy is starting to build so that I actually DO have the vigor I want and so desperately need. Today was even a stressful day at work at many moments and I didn't feel completely beat up by the end - again, I think in large part thanks to daily practice. However, I didn't push it. I only did about 70 minutes of practice. I have a TON of packing to do tonight and tomorrow to get ready for my move on August 31st, but I am also leaving tomorrow for a hard-earned week's vacation to see my family tomorrow. So, I don't want to push it, I still have many, many activities calling out for energy and attention. One great word of advice that Anna Neuman, a fellow Ashtangi, gave me when I was still new to the practice and resistant to abstaining from practice during personal moon days and days of rest in general was that I had to consider whether this was a practice I wanted to do the rest of my life or if I wanted to do it just for a little while. If I was looking to make this part of my existence, then missing days for rest when needed was not merely OK, but it is part of the practice. So, as I work to not live from the perspective of my all or nothing tendency, I have to remember, that I don't have to do a full Mysore practice every day. I don't have to even do a dynamic practice every single day. What I have to do is learn to listen to my body and assess my time and priorities balance so that I can learn how not to tip the scales in favor of one thing while ignoring or sacrificing others. When I am honest I tend to do that. I think: "Oh, if I can't do a full 90 minute yoga practice, then I can't really do one at all, or if I can't sit for at least half an hour then it isn't worth the time to sit at all." I am a pro at doing that! But I am working to correct that. It doesn't serve me. It makes my life's goals one of two things: nearly impossible, or so all consuming that I have to hone my life to just one or two things and miss out on the richness of so many experiences that I am fortunate to have offered to me and be involved in. That's not to say if a person were to want a simple life that that is unacceptable or not a full life, but for me, life is like a wild growing field. There are so many different grasses, flowers, bugs, and animals that grow there, live there, or at least come to visit and I want to be there to observe, experience, and receive every single one with every bit of my passion, enthusiasm and attention!

Wishing you happinEss and metta from a little dot in the universe called Boston,
Heather

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